In Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy, you learn how to communicate your needs instead of reacting in anger and accusation – then you are able to connect in a positive, intimate and loving way.
We are predisposed to seek comfort and care from those we love, especially when we are wounded, scared, sad, or angry. When we can’t or are afraid to seek the care that we need from those we love, we suffer. Sometimes when we suffer, we get angry and express our anger. When we express our anger, we are not communicating our need for care, support and connection and most likely we receive an angry response that leaves us feeling alone and misunderstood. The goal is to help the couple understand that the “enemy” is the cycle of negative interactions, rather than their spouse or partner.
The test of a relationship is in the answer to a fundamental question; are you really there for me? So the overriding goal in therapy with couples is to help you regain (and sometimes gain for the first time) intimacy and secure attachment with each other.
Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT) was developed by Susan Johnson, Ed. D. and Les Greenberg, Ph.D. in the 1980’s. This model of couple therapy focuses on emotion as the essential transforming element in couples, rather than the content of the specific problem a couple is facing. EFT emphasizes primary attachment needs and emotions as a means of resolving patterns of behavior that contribute to misunderstanding, tension and conflict. Supported by a substantial body of empirical research and known to be one of the most successful approaches to couple therapy, EFT helps to create strong, secure emotional attachment bonds in adult love relationships.